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A Belief in a Higher Power

 So I have been in recovery for three years, well, actually five if you count two years of relapsing. One of the hardest things for me to come to grips with in the particular path I chose was a belief in a higher power, a power greater than myself who is supposed to restore me to sanity.  And yes, I was put off at first at the mention of my sanity because I couldn't see anything wrong with ME!  And that was my problem. I was playing the victim in my life at all times, and if that doesn't reek of mental health disturbance I don't know what does. Eventually, when I couldn't stay sober I had to remember the old saying, how does it go?... Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well I was had. I knew I needed some help in the sanity department, but what about the God problem? In case you don't know, the Twelve Step recovery programs basically require you to believe in a God of your own understanding. But what does that even mean? ...

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